Things to Avoid on a First Dates

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What to Avoid on the First Date
By Dee Wilde

First dates can be incredibly stressful. Often times they feel more like an interview than a date. Before you set out on your next dating adventure, consider avoiding some of the most common mistakes both men and women make on their first date.

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Avoid Sports/Shopping

Men, leave the sports talk at home. Unless your date shows a sudden burst of enthusiasm for your favorite football team, shelve the athletic discussions and focus on the date. To make this easier, avoid sports bars or any other potential distraction that could divert your attention away from your date. Ladies, don't talk about your shoes. Your date may comment on something you're wearing, but he's most likely suggesting you look good, not actually wondering where you bought it or what a great bargain it was.

Listen!

While most people LOVE to talk about themselves, your job on the first date is to listen. Answer questions, of course, but focus most of your attention on your date and learn all you can about him or her. When you're talking about yourself, keep it short and to the point. Keep the conversation flowing and make sure your date feels like he or she is the center of your evening.

On that note, Don't Brag

While you may be at the top of your career, this night is about you and your date, not about impressing the boss. While you are allowed to come across as proud, avoid sounding arrogant or conceded. In fact, you may want to minimize business talk altogether.

Unplug

Turn OFF your cell phone and take your headset out of your ear. Focus on your date, not an impending phone call or business meeting. By all means, keep your phone with you, but turn it off, tuck it away, and forget about it for the duration of your date. Keep your mind focused on your evening together. Put away all your your electronics. This includes camera phones, too. No pictures!

Keep it Simple and Safe

There are certain topics that should be avoided on first dates. Namely anything that's a little too personal for comfort. Avoid discussing past relationships, breakups, or intimate family details. If all goes well, there may come a time (many, many dates later) when you can talk freely about such things, but the first date is about finding common ground and comfort in each others' company. With that in mind, avoid topics of long-term relationships and marriage. First dates are about getting to know one another, not determining if you can spend the rest of your life with this person.

Don't Discuss Prices

Keep your budget to yourself. If you're concerned about finances, choose a restaurant or cafe you know you can afford before you get there. You don't want your date to think the price of the meal is more important than her company.

Be Nice to Everyone

Treat your waiter, barista, and anyone else you encounter with courtesy and kindness. Not only do you want to avoid complaining and creating a potentially uncomfortable scene, your date will be watching how you act with others. With this in mind, watch how your date treats everyone, too.

When in doubt, keep your eyes and mind focused on your date and indulge in fun, flirtatious conversation. You can't go wrong!


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